Friday, February 22, 2008

Pussy cat, a starving plant and copulating squirrels.

Scroll down, right side colum....

Do you love my new cat? I love my new cat. I named him Fred because this is one of my "go-to" names. We named our plant Fred. Conversations about Fred 1 go a bit like this in our house:

Did you water Fred?
No.
When was the last time we watered Fred? (approximately 3 weeks ago)
Not sure?
I think Fred is starving.
I think so too, but he'll be ok.
Lets water Fred.
Ok.

Fred looks droopy from the heat.
I'll put him outside.
Tyler, its 30 degrees outside, how is THAT going to help.
It just will. (men are brilliant!)

next morning...
Tyler, Fred is dead!
He'll be fine.
Tyler, he has no leaves left! He is NOT a tropical plant.
Kris, don't be dramatic, he has three.
following day...Fred has one leaf (last summer) and has now spurted another 2. We should be banned from plant ownership. Poor Fred.

We also have squirrels that live in the big trees out front. When we moved in we saw the same one running like mad for the nuts I tossed out the door and I named him Marvin. The cats thouroughly enjoyed attempting to hunt him through the window. Then one day there were two Marvins. Tyler decided that they needed their own names because one was fatter than the other. He renamed Marvin 2 Shaniqwa. Yeah-I have no idea either. Next conversation...5a.m. one early summer morning, windows open, humans fast asleep...

Tyler, do you hear THAT?
I only hear you.
You can't hear that noise?
What noise?
The crazy squeaky sound.
Tyler, (listening) it must be Marvin.
Ohhhh its Marvin and Shaniqwa, making a baby-in OUR tree. I feel violated. I can't sleep anymore.

So now we have a Fred 2, but he can't wake me up with his amourous noises, nor can I starve him. The first time I saw him on a blog I thought he was lame and juvenille, then I played with him. Try it-he's fun!

3 Comments:

Blogger heathersway said...

Okay, Fred is fun but a little creepy at the same time. How DO they do that?

P.S. Watch out for those squirrels! If they get into your attic they make an unholy mess!

February 22, 2008 at 8:11 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

Oh, you are too funny! Love Fred. So does Julia.

February 23, 2008 at 10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG Kris!!!! I swear to god you had my whole department laughing... i was reading thinking you actually got another cat... until I moved my mouse over Fred and it meowed loudly ... everyone peeed their pants.. it was beautiful! you are nuts however!!! and I love the conversations you and Ty have.. precious!

Zoo

February 28, 2008 at 12:52 PM  

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