Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Mish mash

I have lots to say today so here goes...

An annoyance: I am using a new laptop and the American English version is not working. This means I cannot use question marks or various other keys without an accent popping up (example-É is a question mark). So frustrating!

A near smackdown: I was recently at Michaels with my little person in stroller. He was chatting away, loudly, but not crying or screaming. I thought I heard a woman a few asiles away say something about keeping a child under control but then thought that would be so ridiculous that my ears must have been playing tricks on me. A few minutes later said woman was in my asile and Cade continued to converse with his cookie (will discuss later). She loudly, into her cell phone, proclaimed that no of course it was not her kid, it was some other womans, who apparently could not control him. I was SO close to shoving my foot up her ass..but thought pulling a PWT (poor white trash) move in the Michaels would have actually been worse than her comments. After I left I thought of numerous clever, and mean, things I could have said. For instance: Listen bitch, if I have to listen to you rattle on to some sucker on your cell phone I think you can tolerate a baby talking. He does not have a mute button but I can help you find yours (insert a variety of items I can shove in her mouth). I must sound so angry but it was my momma bear coming out in me. Momma bear is fierce. Lesson: wear earplugs or boxing gloves.

A instance of poor mothering: I plied my child with cookies. Granted they were organic and he is almost 9 months, I think I am now officially out of the running for mother-of-the-year. I let him eat 3. They are the size of a toonie each. Bad mom, bad! Lesson: carry cookies everywhere.

A near miss: I was putting some clothing in Cades dresser and heard him giggling behind me. I turned around to find he had managed to crawl up on to the chair in his room, via the footstool. He was about to go headfirst on to the hardwood floor. I did a movie worthy leap, slightly straining my back and grabbed him before the plunge. My baby was fine as is my back. Lesson: move footstool.

My next post will be about Christmas. I am obsessed, I am planning my decorations but am not allowed to put them up until December 1. The countdown is on.


Anonymous bitetherabbit said...

And so it begins...

Trust me..it starts out innocently with a few small ORGANIC cookies and it's all downhill from there. TRUST ME! You will soon offer your child anything to keep the peace and will always remember to bring some bribes with you EVERYWHERE.

And SOME people (refering the the Michael's grouch!)

November 14, 2007 at 7:15 AM  
Blogger heathersway said...

There is just no excuse for cell phone lady and people like her.

November 14, 2007 at 8:04 AM  
Anonymous Sharla said...

People loudly talking on their cell phones are much more of an annoyance than even a crying baby let alone a happy one! Some people just don't get the joy of children...their loss!

November 16, 2007 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger heathersway said...

Have you and Amy run away together? If so, why didn't you take me with you?

November 27, 2007 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger HRH said...

you should have PWT'd her. Funny post!

December 17, 2007 at 4:06 PM  

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