Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sometimes I Suck


I was not a good mother 25 minutes ago (and about 2 hours prior to that) and am currently experiencing a heavy dose of well deserved guilt. Back story-Cade woke up this morning at 5:45, not surprising considering daddy was getting ready for work and Cade is a ridiculously light sleeper. Anyway, he fell back to sleep at 9 and woke up at 9:20, so I was well aware that it wasn't going to be the best of days. We went out a few hours later and he fell asleep for about 10 minutes in the car. I brought him in the house, trying to get him back to sleep but he wouldn't have any of that. I then proceeded to spend the following 2 hours to try to get him back to sleep. He refused, while his little eyes fluttered and he screamed bloody murder at the same time. Sometimes he falls asleep if I hold him firmly, so I tried that too, but nope. I got so frustrated that I put him is his crib and let him cry, firmly (loudly) shutting the door behind me.


I thought he really needed to sleep, I know he really needed to sleep, but I can be such a control freak. He finally fell asleep 10 minutes ago and now its a "too late" nap, you know the kind that interferes with bedtime. Thank my lucky stars that dad will be home by then because snapping at your kid and letting him cry in his crib makes me one shitty mother. Don't leave me any reassuring comments, I prefer to feel like an asshole right now.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Amy said...

All I can say is I TOTALLY know how you feel...the guilt is awful!

January 31, 2008 at 7:12 PM  
Blogger Kristian said...

Update: Cade woke up as I typed my last sentance. He went to bed 3minutes ago. Please please child sleep....

Thanks Amy, its alwasys nice not to suck alone. Not that you suck...

January 31, 2008 at 7:19 PM  
Anonymous Leslie said...

We've all been there. Don't be too hard on yourself.

January 31, 2008 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

Yup, I've done it too...

February 1, 2008 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger heathersway said...

Oh yeah. We all feel ya'.

February 1, 2008 at 8:10 PM  
Blogger hollystar said...

oh heck! i'm leaving a reassuring comment! you're not a bad mother for knowing that your child needs sleep!!!!!! and if you were about to "snap", then putting him in a safe, near-by place (i.e. his crib) for 10min to let him work his own frustrations out does NOT make you a shitty mother. i know all about having a little boy who doesnt want to sleep... ever. i know that same guilty feeling. it sucks, but its unwarented. taking a step back is sometimes the best parenting move you can make, no matter how it pulls on your heartstrings!

*pats you on the shoulder*

ok, i'll leave now...

February 3, 2008 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

okay, my comment is for the MeMe MeMe
I finally got mine done.

February 6, 2008 at 10:13 PM  
Blogger HRH said...

Hey..what is wrong with reassurance? Totally been there and done that! There are days when being a great mom is easy and then there are those other days which tend to come way to frequently for my taste...

February 11, 2008 at 6:14 PM  

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