Sometimes I Suck

I was not a good mother 25 minutes ago (and about 2 hours prior to that) and am currently experiencing a heavy dose of well deserved guilt. Back story-Cade woke up this morning at 5:45, not surprising considering daddy was getting ready for work and Cade is a ridiculously light sleeper. Anyway, he fell back to sleep at 9 and woke up at 9:20, so I was well aware that it wasn't going to be the best of days. We went out a few hours later and he fell asleep for about 10 minutes in the car. I brought him in the house, trying to get him back to sleep but he wouldn't have any of that. I then proceeded to spend the following 2 hours to try to get him back to sleep. He refused, while his little eyes fluttered and he screamed bloody murder at the same time. Sometimes he falls asleep if I hold him firmly, so I tried that too, but nope. I got so frustrated that I put him is his crib and let him cry, firmly (loudly) shutting the door behind me.

I thought he really needed to sleep, I know he really needed to sleep, but I can be such a control freak. He finally fell asleep 10 minutes ago and now its a "too late" nap, you know the kind that interferes with bedtime. Thank my lucky stars that dad will be home by then because snapping at your kid and letting him cry in his crib makes me one shitty mother. Don't leave me any reassuring comments, I prefer to feel like an asshole right now.