Thursday, May 29, 2008

Husband for Sale

Husband for Sale

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to purchase one 40 year old husband. Those is the process of selling homes should proceed to the next husband as this one is not useful for resale purposes. Example-Husband leaves home in what could reasonably classify as disaster, does not flush toilet. DOES NOT FLUSH TOILET! Realtor calls, husband ignores voicemail. Realtor comes to home, sees unflushed toilet, evidence of baby hurricane.

Husband has several redeeming characteristics for those with secure residences.

Seller is open to offers (baby not included)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Let's play a game

Have any questions for me? Anything that you feel you need to know about me? Anything you would like my opinion about? Anything at all? You see, I'm bored. I need a little spice in my blog. So send me something. Anything. I promise to answer, but I can't promise I'll tell the truth. Let's play "Ask KiS".

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Finally-the house.

The house goes on the market tomorrow. It's been SO MUCH WORK getting it ready. I'm still not telling you where I live, because I fear random creeps hunting us down. That, and I don't want hate mail-you know because I am oh so political on these pages. Right? Right.

They call that paranoia.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Oh my ears...

They are ringing.

I'm home. Tired, dizzy, too much rum. Must sleep.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Momma gets a freebie!

I'm going out tonight, like OUT out. The kind of "out" where one uses a flat iron, a tub of eyeshadow and then douses herself in a litre of wine. That kind of out. I can hardly wait. Happy birthday Zoozoo-ka.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Dear car...

I wish to extend my most sincere apologies to you for driving 80 kms each day from Monday to Wednesday. I am sure your friend, the environment, is ready to gas me with carbon monoxide as I surely am adding a whole new hole to the ozone layer. However, this was not an optional commute, nor could this feat be accomplished with a bicycle. Car, imagine me on a bicycle in heels, with a baby strapped across my chest. It simply isn't reasonable.

I understand that your ripe young age of two cannot handle my high expectations for a smooth commute; however, your insistance on making stalling like shudders reverberate through your body will not cause me to alter my ways. I would appreciate if you could avoid this at 80 kms an hour with my infant in the back seat. I took you to the car doctor and they tell me that nothing is wrong. While you clearly don't want me to get to the root of what ails you, I would respecfully request that you reserve your shudders for times when your torturer is alone in the drivers seat.

Additionally, would you kindly attempt to consume less gas. It cost me $78.03 to fill you three days ago. I nearly vomitted. You are a V6, not a V8, not an SUV and certainly not a truck. I will promise to drive you nicely and not behave like a 16 year old boy when commencing gas use after an intersection break. I think that this is a fair compromise.

Sincerely, KS

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Writer's block beaten!

I've been blocked-for days! But here I am, making a feeble attempt to aprise you of recent happenings in our house.

1. Cade is moving in to new child care at a very well reputed daycare 4 minutes away, effective June. There was no issue with my cousin, she is just taking a part-time job. She gave me notice, I called every daycare on the local list within a 1/2 hour drive, a bunch of dayhomes, visited three places and stalked this one particular daycare director. It worked-June 1, 2008 we have a space! Yay! Everyone say YAY!

2. The house goes on the market on May 20, 2008, so we are SCRAMBLING. Tyler has been installing new flooring in the kitchen for weeks. It's lino. So ummmm, yeah. I'll take pics when he finishes, you know, next year.

3. Todays is mama's day. Ty had to work but my dad spoiled me with homemade hollindaise on eggies and sauteed spinach/english muffins. It was so yummy and so terrible for me. Then he helped me take a shitload of stuff to Goodwill and storage in his BIG ASS TRUCK. You know the kind that costs $125 to fill and goes maybe 3 kilometers? AND, he (from Cade) gave me a beautiful diamond necklace, because my dad enjoys spoiling his children and also enjoys spending money. Aren't I a lucky mama?

Ty came home and gave me this mug that he decorated for me. I actually made a passing comment about wanting one but he isn't the attentive type. Apparently he liked my idea (I made one for my mom) and did one himself. Now, I'm not normally the sentimental type but it made me cry because it was so thoughtful.

Then...I spent 2 hours doing MORE house cleanup/organizing. Now, I'm beat.

4. My store isall set to shop in. Kristi-this mostly pertains to you:)
The pics aren't done but the store itself is, it looks better than I even anticipated. I'll try to get some pics of that up to.

So, to all you mama's-I hope someone spoiled you or made you feel special. I sure think you are!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Baby C and his mommy's hair

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Dear dear diary

I found my grade 7-9 diary today. It was by far the most entertaining thing I've read in the past year.

Some quotes for you:

December 27, 1992-"I am going to marry Kris when I turn 17. I need to start planning my wedding." (I was 12)

January 17, 1993-"I want to actjust like Buffy the Vampire Slayer because she's cool".

September 18, 1994-"I have a new best friend and her name is Suzan. I can't tell you her last name because it's too hard to write. She's short."

August 14, 1995-"I got an awsome job today at McDonalds. I am going to make $4.50 an hour and I'll be rich!"

And you wouldn't believe how boy crazy I was. I fell in love once a week.