Thursday, July 24, 2008

Oh no he didn't!

Picture this...
Momma standing in line at grocery store, baby in the cart facing momma. Man standing behind momma looks more feminine than momma, although this is not hard as momma looks like lump of shit.

Baby getting annoyed and starts pointing and yelling "HOMO!!!!!!! HOMO!!!!!!! HOMO!!!!!".

A glipmse in to the mind of the momma:

"Oh my god, no he didn't. No he didn't! Can't turn around. Where the F#$K did he learn that? Oh my god....oh, he said HOME, but it sounded like HOMO, is that guy looking at me? Don't turn around. Run. Push cart and run. I did not teach him to be homophobic, the guy is going to think I did. Hide head in shame. Pretend you're deaf. Pretend your not with him. Scratch that, he's cute, pretend your the nanny. Note to self-NEVER TAKE BABY OUT AGAIN. "

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Good Riddance George Bush

Does anyone know how many more days the world has to endure this dolt?

I just read an article about his agovernment essentially proposing classification of birth control pills, condoms, ANY contraceptives as abortion. This, in the sense, that anything that prevents pregnancy is an abortion.

So abstinence should also be classified as abortion because really every single person who CAN breed, should do so-furiously, every 9 months, until they:
1. die or
2. enter menopause.
That sounds like a fantastic plan.

What a ridiculous idea. If you were never pregnant, there is nothing to abort. That's just basic medical fact. AND-not every ass, with the parts to do so, should be a parent. How about they propose pro-creation licensing instead? I for one know plenty of people who should not breed. A penis and vagina are not qualifications for parenthood.

Here is athe excerpt:

"any of the various procedures -- including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action -- that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation" -New York Times, July 15

Again, common sense does NOT prevail.

Day 4

I think I'm going to have to take him to the hospital. There is a hosptial grade anti-nauseant that you can only get there. He has now been vomitting for 4 days. Poor baby, he's so lethargic.

I forgot to mention, our house is off the market, we're staying! We're planning on renovating and taking advantage of unused space. Once that's done (who knows when) I'll post some pics.

Now, I'm off to clean puke.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Oh, I spoke too soon

The puke came back, the very next day, the puke came back, they thought it was a goner, but the puke came back, it just wouldn't stay away.....

Cade's illness returned, or more likely it never left. He woke up this morning, still feeling good, then as the afternoon went on he proceeded to puke on Tyler and our bed. I came home from work and he laid on me for three hours, not eating, hardly drinking-having fluids syringed in to his mouth.

Then he went to bed, having eaten a piece of bread and 8 blueberries, along wth 4 ozs of milk. I'm worried about him staying hydrated and might have to wake him up to get some more fluids in him.

Poor baby:(

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Blueberry puke

I had a mommas morning today, out for brunch with a good friend. I came home and Tyler had to go to work for a few hours and then to the gym. So I sat down and played with baby C for awhile, while contemplating what we would do with the rest of the day.

When suddenly, out of nowhere...

...he puked up his milk. I thought it was nothing, since he was sitting back while drinking. 30 seconds later....he puked up breakfast....then went to sleep on me...for 2 hours. Man, my ass was sore from sitting on the hardwood floors in the same position for that long. But am I ever thankful for the remote control...

He woke up and just layed there, which is so out of character for him (sitting still, huh?). He was hot but it's 28 degrees here today so who knows why he was actually hot. I gave him some Tylenol anyway and he seemed ok, sickly and cuddly, but ok....

....then he puked some more, and I changed my shirt for the 3rd time. He cried some more, as he did with the other pukes and calmed down and went back to half sleeping on me.....then he puked some more! I changed my shirt again. Holy crap, how many blueberries did he eat for breakfast?

....then he was fine. As in completely fine, as in playing and climbing and laughing and being his monkey-like self.

I didn't risk a repeat puke fest after dinner, so he ate toast and some oh-so-tasty-must-use-a-syringe-to-get-it-down-Pedialyte.

What the hell?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Conversing with a 17 month old

Me: Cade, give mommy a hug.

Cade: No


Me: Cade, time for night night.

Cade: No


Me: Cade, don't bite the cat.

Cade: No! (resumes biting)


Friday, July 18, 2008

His highness found his pee pee...

....and mommy can't handle it.

Everytime I change his diaper, his hand flies to his pee pee-at the speed of light. He starts entertaining himself with the item and gets *ahem* aroused. It's too much for a mommy to take. So the other morning I called Tyler in and expressed my concern...

K: He won't stop yanking on it. I think he might yank it off! He only has one! What do we do?

T: He's a boy, that's what guys do. (Leaves the room)

So apparently I have to suck up my anxiety and let my son enjoy this appendange, if only he could do it when I'm NOT in the room. Sigh....

Saturday, July 12, 2008

More summer fun

Cade's first beach adventure.
It turned out to be a crappy beach at a nice lake. We'll try another one next time. On the plus side, that crappy beach-kept Cade firmly seated on the towel. He didn't like the rocky sand. On second thought, maybe I love that beach.

You want to know what souvenier we took home from the lake?

Tyler brought back a shiny new speeding ticket. And it will only cost us a few demerits and $194, what a steal! And, I stole a rock, from a provincial park-I think that merrits another ticket. But seriously 30kms/hr is the speed limit? Seriously.
Note from Tyler: I fully intend to fight the ticket, and not pay a dime!
Note from Kristian: Of course you do, and of course you will.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Around where we live...

We're on vacation but going nowhere. But we aren't staying home all day!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Need something to do?

Read The Pillars of the Earth, by Ken Follet. It's LONG. It took me a week, and I read super fast. I wasn't convinced that I'd like a book that people said was about church biuilding in the middle ages, but it was so much more that that. There are so many interesting stories in this book that intertwine. It's definetly been added to my top 5.

Friday, July 4, 2008

He speaks

Cade is becoming increasingly well versed in the English language and now attempts to say nearly all words that we ask of him. The most recent word in his repetoire is "pasta", which actually sounds like "pista". I ask him if he wants to eat dinner and he says "pista???".

He also has a fondness for "juice, cheese and apple". He likes the first two but throws apple pieces on the floor. In fact, he throws almost everything on the floor, except pista. You should see what the floor lookes like after a meal. I could feed another child, scratch that, I could feed my husband! It's ridiculously wasteful but I can't exactly scoop up garbage and serve it for breakfast. I'm pretty sure that someone with a badge could haul my ass of to jail for neglect or something like it. So, I throw out buckets of food and hang my head in shame.

Some other favourites:
1. Go out?= Gout. Sometimes he screams this while we're out. Gout gout GOUT!!!!
2. Birdie?= squirrel, birdie, small rodents.
3. Guy=cat. Yeah, I don't understand either. Spontaneous erruptions of "cat" are now making his way out of his lips.

He also loves to say puppy. I think this kid has extraordinary hearing, if he hears a dog bark I hear puppy, puppy, puppy for next hour. So puppy, you're cute but PLEASE SHUT UP.

Have I ever mentioned that he points to random men and says "daddy?" while we are out shopping. Yeah, thats fun.